


Oh, is what you do to me.

by watercolouredreams, xofunghoul



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF
Genre: Angst, Facetime, M/M, Missing, Yearning, ben is in love, in case you didn't notice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:54:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22161397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watercolouredreams/pseuds/watercolouredreams, https://archiveofourown.org/users/xofunghoul/pseuds/xofunghoul
Summary: Ben is missing Joe very much.
Relationships: Ben Hardy/Joe Mazzello
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31
Collections: Hardzzello Week 2019





	Oh, is what you do to me.

**Author's Note:**

> Late entry for the Prompt "Missing" of Day 7 of Hardzzello Week!  
> This is piece belongs to  _Parallel Hearts_ ' near future. I don't think it's too much of a spoiler since it's pretty obvious what's going to happen in the next couple of chapters.  
> Listen to 'Hey There Delilah' while reading this, it's what I listened to while writing it.  
> (I added Allie as co-writer but I wrote this by myself with her approval haha)

It’s too fucking early in the morning for Ben to be awake with nothing to do. And worst, he woke up from a dream where he was with Joe. He can’t recall where they were or what they were doing but he was definitely in Joe’s arms a second earlier and now he’s alone in his bed in London. He palms for his phone on the nightstand next to his bed and checks the time. It says 8am, which would make it 3am in New York where Joe is. He’s asleep by now, he even has a text from Joe, letting him know that he’s going to bed, sent about an hour ago. Ben grunts loudly and dramatically although no one is there to listen to his lament. 

He tosses and turns for a while, wishing he could go back to his dream and even maybe sleep until noon, cut the hours to his days and the days of his week and make the day he sees Joe again come closer. At least they have a date this time. He knows Joe is going to be there soon but nothing that isn’t right now is soon enough, it’s driving him insane. He’s in agony every single minute of every day where he knows he’s not coming home to Joe and Joe is miles away. It’s ridiculous, and it’s not normal and it’s not healthy and **_he knows_**. He knows and he hates that he has to be this fucking intense about it that he can’t live his life _normally_ and miss his boyfriend _normally_ and just wait. Ben keeps wondering how Joe got into his system like that and rewired every single thing so that every single one of his thoughts and actions circle back to him. _How did he do that?_ Does Joe feel like that too? Honestly, he hopes he doesn’t. He really hopes Joe is breathing normally and nothing is aching and he’s sleeping peacefully and that he only smiles content knowing that he has Ben and this isn’t an ordeal to him. He really, really wishes that the thought of him only makes Joe happy because that’s all he wants. He wants Joe happy, he wouldn’t forgive himself if he was making him miserable somehow, _not again._

Ben even thought, at some point while he was miserably waiting for an answer, that the intensity of his feelings were linked to the uncertainty of the whole situation. That when Joe gave him an answer, whichever it was, good or bad, then he was going to be able to calm down. That he was going to be able to get his emotions in check, especially if Joe said yes because it meant that that was it, that he got what he wanted, what he was so desperately longing for. _This is it, now you have him. now you know._ But no such luck, apparently, quite the opposite actually. Everything seems to be amplified now, with every touch, every look, every smile. Every soft spoken word into his ear, every kiss landing wherever on his body. He’s learnt in the short week they spent together as finally, a couple, that Joe likes kissing his skin, not just his lips but his shoulders, his hands, his chest, his back. And Ben learnt that he likes that, he likes it very much. Ben doesn’t dare to think what would’ve happened to him if he didn’t get Joe. If Joe’s answer was no. If having Joe feels this intense, he doesn’t want to know how it would feel like not having him. _God_ he hopes he never has to find out. 

_You’re spiraling._

He tells himself. He’s about to walk himself into a panic attack for nothing so he stops. He breathes deep and tries to calm down and checks his phone again. _8.20am._ Ben grunts one more time. _Why does time has to be so slow and stupid?_ It would pass like nothing when he’s spending it with Joe but of course now that he’s here, alone, lonely and bored, it goes like snail. He hates time, he really does. And space too. And everything that isn’t Joe right now. He hates this cold bed. He hates silence. He hates his empty house. He knows he’s going to hate the food he’s going to make himself later because he’s not making it for Joe too. And especially, he hates himself and the trick his mind is playing on him because he swears he can see on his phone that Joe is calling him and that is some sick trick his mind must be playing but then he feels the phone vibrate in his hand and-- okay he is not that crazy. Joe is in fact calling him. 

“Joe?” he answers a little worried because, yes, he wanted to hear Joe’s voice but not if something happened to him. 

“Hey, _Benny._ ” Is Joe’s answer. He sounds okay, sleepy but okay. 

“Is everything okay? It’s late.” He asks, just in case. 

“Everything’s fine. Just couldn’t sleep.” He pauses before asking teasingly, “Think you might have something to do with it?”

Ben closes his eyes and smiles. Okay maybe he doesn’t hate everything. He doesn’t hate phones for once. Thank God for whoever invented mobile phones that allow you to speak to someone so easily on the other side of the ocean in a different continent and timezone like they’re right there next to you. He keeps his eyes closed and imagines that Joe is, in fact, as close as he hears him right now. _This isn’t helping._ The fact that the universe decides to justify the intensity of how much he loves Joe by making Joe feel it and call him doesn’t help him slow down at all. 

“Me, why? Did you lie down and forgot to turn off the light again?” 

It happens sometimes, Joe would come to bed, Ben already being there and he would lie next to him and forget to turn off the light. And whine about it. And Ben would get up, like the idiot in love that he is and he would be the one to turn it off. 

Joe laughs and Ben swears he just felt his heart make a backflip inside his chest and it’s honestly fucking insane how infatuated he is. 

“No, I didn’t forget this time.” Joe says.

“Good.” There’s a pause and a little bit of silence they’re sharing which is nice but Ben can’t help it. He just can’t. “Joe--” He whispers. “I miss you. _So fucking much._ ”

“See, that’s why I called,” he says softly so it doesn’t sound like he’s teasing Ben too much about it. “Let me see you? Can we FaceTime?” 

“But it’s 3am there.” 

"Come on. Let me look at you.” Joe insists and Ben can’t resist it.

“Yeah, alright.” He gives in and gets more comfortable in bed, lying on his side before switching to FaceTime. Lucky for him the sun has been shining for a few hours now and his room is bright enough so he doesn’t have to turn on the lights. On the other side of the screen there’s Joe, illuminated by his bedside lamp, sitting up against some pillows on his bed, wearing a plain white t-shirt and his hair tousled. 

“Hey, you look like you could use having me there hugging you from behind.” 

"Yeah. I really fucking do." 

“I’d say I’ll take the first flight to London today, but we’ve already done that before.” Joe grins. “And besides, I will be there soon, only a couple of weeks more.” 

"I know. It's ridiculous. I'm being ridiculous." Ben doesn't even want to look at himself in the small display next to Joe's face on the screen because he probably looks like a child right now, so what he does instead is tuck his chin into his chest a little. It's not a conscious thing. He's feeling a little embarrassed and that's his reflex response. 

"You're not. It's okay. What can I do? What do you want me to do?" Joe asks softly, not with annoyance or worry, but a warm, gentle smile, his head cocked slightly to the side, like he's infinitely amused, but even more than that, he genuinely cares. 

"Do you have or know of someone who might own a teletransporter?"

Joe chuckles. "No, I don't. Sorry." 

"It was long shot." He pouts and shrugs. "Tell me-- tell me what you want to do when you get here. Now that we’re together.”

“Oh is this _that_ kind of FaceTime?” Joe smirks on the other side of the screen and raises an eyebrow.

“God no!” Ben blushes and buries his face into the pillow for a moment, laughing. When he looks back at the screen, his face is all red. “No, I’m too sad for that right now. Although I’m loving the predisposition.”

“Anything for you, baby.” Joe wiggles his eyebrows and Ben laughs even harder.

“Stop it!” 

“Okay, okay. Let’s see.” The redhead considers it for a moment and then says, “I’d like a rematch at the arcade. Maybe rise the bet a little now.” Ben shakes his head and bit his lower lip with a smile. “Oh and you’ve ruined breakfast for me forever if it isn’t done by you. You know how disappointing my mornings are now? So that’s another thing I’m looking forward to, your breakfast.”

“You just want me for my cooking abilities.” 

“No, no. You have other abilities I appreciate, not just your cooking. But, like you said, we're not gonna go there,” Joe shrugs. 

“You’re insufferable.”

“And you miss me.” Joe says with a smile and closes his eyes for a bit,. Clearly now that they’ve talked, sleep is catching up on him. 

“I do.” Ben assures him and watches as Joe tries to stiffen a yawn but it’s pretty much useless, it gets out of him anyway. “And you should sleep.”

“No, no it’s fine.” He rubs his eyes but Ben feels guilty now for keeping him up so late, he knows Joe has things to do the next day and should definitely and absolutely be sleeping and not talking to him but he couldn’t help himself. Still, it’s time for him to let him go back to bed. 

“No, really. You should sleep and I should get up since I’m awake and have some breakfast and do something and stop thinking about you so damn much.”

“Never. Don’t want you to stop doing that.” he mumbles. 

“Don’t worry, it’s very unlikely.” 

“Good,” Joe says and has his eyes mostly closed now. He’s sinking down into bed, and looks a minute away from being completely asleep. 

“Okay, sweet dreams, then. Text me later?”

“Always,” Ben is about to say goodbye and hang up but Joe calls out for him one more time, “Ben?” He whispers. 

“Yeah?”

“Miss you too.” 

Joe says as he tucks himself in bed and Ben smiles. No, he’s positively beaming. His heart is doing that thing again where it feels like there’s an invisible hand squeezing it briefly because he wants to kiss the face on the other side of the screen so badly but he can’t and he has to wait. Did he mention he hates time? And space? 

_A couple of weeks_. He can do nothing but hope they go by quickly. 

“Goodnight Joe.” 

_A thousand miles seems pretty far but they've got planes and trains and cars, I'd walk to you if I had no other way. Our friends would all make fun of us, and we'll just laugh along because we know that none of them have felt this way. I can promise you that by the time we get through the world will never ever be the same. And you're to blame._

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think! I gotta admit I teared up a bit writing this.


End file.
